welcome

One Stone is Enough to break a Glass..... One sentence is Enough to break a heart....... One Second is Enough to fall In Love ... and .... One friend is Enough to live a whole Life

Thursday, December 18, 2008

A love letter by mathematician

De-Morgan's Law,
Binomial Avenue,
United States of Matrices.
My Dear Love,
Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane. There I saw your cute circular face,conical nose and spherical eyes,standing in your triangular garden.

Before seeing you my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me.

The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity. You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality. My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10.

With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.

Yours ever loving,

Pythagoras
--

Sunday, November 30, 2008

One of the nice mail for all of you dear friends:::Difference Between Somebody you Love & Somebody You Like

In front of the person you love, your heart beats faster.

But in front of the person you like, you get happy.

In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring.

But in front of the person you like, winter is just beautiful winter.

If you look into the eyes of the one you love, you blush.

But if you look into the eyes of the one you like, you smile.

In front of the person you love, you can't say everything on your mind.

But in front of the person you like you can.

In front of the person you love, you tend to get shy.

But in front of the person you like, you can show your own self.

You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you love.

But you can always smile into the eyes of the one you like.

My F'ship means a little heart that never hates,

A cute smile that never fades,

A smooth touch that never hurts,

& A strong relationship that never break.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

PARENTS ARE PRECIOUS!!!

This was narrated at a Seminar recently on Human Relations :

Venkatesh Balasubramaniam (who works for IIT) describes how his gesture of booking an air ticket for his father, his maiden
flight, brought forth a rush of emotions and made him (Venkatesh) realize that how much we all take for granted when it comes to our
parents.

My parents left for our native place on Thursday and we went to the airport to see them off. In fact, my father had never traveled by air before, so I just took this opportunity to make him experience the same. In spite of being asked to book tickets by train, I got them tickets on Jet Airways. The moment I handed over the tickets to him, he was surprised to see that I had booked them by air. The excitement was very apparent on his face, waiting for the time of
travel. Just like a school boy, he was preparing himself on that day and we all went to the airport, right from using the trolley for his luggage, the baggage check-in and asking for a window seat and waiting restlessly for the security check-in to happen. He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy watching him
experience all these things.

As they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up to me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very emotional and it was not as if I had done something great but the fact that this meant a great deal to him. When he said thanks, I told him there was no need to thank me. But later, thinking about the entire incident, I looked back at my life. As a child, how many dreams our parents have made come true. Without understanding the financial situation, we ask for cricket bats, dresses, toys, outings, etc. Irrespective of their affordability, they have catered to all our needs. Did we ever think about the sacrifices they had to make to accommodate many of our wishes? Did we ever say thanks for all that they have done for us? Same way, today when it comes to our children, we always think that we should put them in a good school. Regardless of the amount of donation, we will ensure that we will have t give the child the best, theme parks, toys, etc. But we tend to forget that our parents have sacrificed a lot for our sake to see us happy, so it is our responsibility to ensure that their dreams are realized and what they failed to see when they were young. It is our responsibility to ensure that they experience all those and their life is complete.

Many times, when my parents had asked me some questions, I have actually answered back without patience. When my daughter asks me something, I have been very polite in answering. Now I realize how they would have felt at those moments. Let us realize that old age is a second childhood and just as we take care of our children, the same attention and same care needs to be given to our parents and elders.Quality time and politely answering them with out making them wait is important. Now I realise that I must look at their eyes and answer them pleasantly and pretend to be reading papers and answer in mono syllables. Rather than my dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say sorry for making him wait so long for this small dream. I do realize how much he has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give the best possible attention to all their wishes.

Just because they are old does not mean that they will have to give up everything and keep sacrificing for their grandchildren also. They have wishes, too.



Take care of your parents. THEY ARE PRECIOUS.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

This is how we can tackle with problems by avoiding blames : just by caring each other

boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open.

He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband. When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.


QUESTIONS:
1. What were the five words ?
2. What is the implication of this story?

ANSWER : The husband just said "I am with you Darling" The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother.


Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.
No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her. If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. "
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.


Take off all your envies, jealousies,unforgiv eness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you
think.

MORAL OF THE STORY

Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out something.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

What is Globalization?

Question : What is the truest definition of Globalization ?

Answer : Princess Diana's death.

Question : How come ?

Answer :An English princess with an

Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a

French tunnel, driving a

German car with a

Dutch engine, driven by a

Belgian who was drunk on

Scottish whisky: followed closely by

Italian Paparazzis in

Japanese motorcycles; treated by an

American doctor, using

Brazilian medicines.

And moreover this is sent to you by a

INDIAN,

using
American

(Bill Gates's) technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that use

Taiwanese chips, and a

Korean monitor, assembled by

Bangladeshi workers in a

Singapore plant, transported by

PAKISTANI lorry-drivers, hijacked by

Indonesians, unloaded by

Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by

Mexican illegals.... . That, my friend, is

"Globalization"

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

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Thursday, July 3, 2008

HIV AIDS miths

* HIV can *never survive in any other liquid* medium also other than blood or semen (& please for God sake ... never in Pani Puri wala pani)

* Even if one drinks an HIV infected blood (or semen) of someone (ingest through Gastro Intestinal track), the virus can not survive in the acidic pH of stomach*. Highest extent of acidity is 0 (practically not possible) so imagine 1 as pH which is in our stomach. (This pH can burn your own finger in less than a second if you dip in that acid).

* Exposure of less than 1 second in AIR KILLS the HIV virus* (hence story of needle pricks in Cinema theatres is a crap). Even if blood from a wound (of infected person) dries up (*blood clot*), *the virus dies*and can not infect anyone else*

HIV transmission is *ONLY* an *INFECTION* i.e.entrance of virus in one's body. It *DOES NOT MEAN AIDS*.

* An HIV-infected person (after entrance of virus) can progress to a condition of AIDS only after *8 to 10 YEARS *(not in 15 days as in the Pani Puri story)

* It is *not HIV (virus) that kills a human* .....the virus attacks immune cells (cells that fight against foreign pathogens/antigens) and hence a person's ability to fight against infections & diseases slowly diminishes and person ultimately dies of a disease which could be as simple as TB

* Most importantly, HIV is no longer a dreadful disease ... it is "*CHRONIC MANAGEABLE DISEASE*" just like Diabetes or Hypertension.* If there is anything you need to be careful from to prevent HIV is Unsafe sex*, *Blood transfusion* (check before taking) /Blood donation (use sterilized needles only) and any *blood contact during an accident *or so where amount of bleeding is very high.

PLZ spread this message to avoid rumors and to educate people.

Sayings of Shrew

[1] If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

[2] Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

[3] Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any morethan going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

[4] Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

[5] If you must choose between two evils, pick the oneyou've never tried before.

[6] My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

[7] Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that lifeis serious.

[8] It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

[9]. For every action, there is an equal and oppositegovernment program.

[10] If you look like your passport picture, you probablyneed the trip.

[11] Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed ofchecks.

[12] A conscience is what hurts when all your other partsfeel so good.

[13] Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

[14] Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal withit.

[15] No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

[16] A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

[17] Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrownessof the waist change places.

[18] Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

[19] Junk is something you've kept for years and throw awaythree weeks before you need it.

[20] There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

[21] Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you torecognize a mistake when you make it again.

[22] By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

[23] Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

[24] Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrastto the real world.

[25] Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for theyshall never cease to be amused.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Some Wacky Quotes

Some W a c k y Quotes

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.- Albert Einstein


The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does notstop until you get into the office.- Robert Frost


The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate- Franklin P. Jones

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?- Jean Cocturan


It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.- Darrin Weinberg



Life is pleasant.Death is peaceful.It's the transition that's troublesome.Help a man when he is in trouble he will remember you when he isin trouble again.Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems but then again,neither does milk.Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.Forgive your enemies but remember their names.The number of people watching is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.Dont worry that the world ends today, its already tomorrow in Australia!So, Keep Smiling!!!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

This is positive attitude

As Gandhi stepped aboard a train one day, one of his shoes slipped offand landed on the track. He was unable to retrieve it as the train was moving. To the amazement of his companions, Gandhi calmly took off hisother shoe and threw it back along the track to land close to the first.Asked by a fellow passenger why he did so,

Gandhi smiled. "The poor manwho finds the shoes lying on the track," he replied, "will now have apair he can use."

Monday, June 16, 2008

FACTS ABOUT LIFE

isn't it strange how a 20 rupee note seems like such a large amount
when you donate it to temple,
but such a small amount
when you go shopping?


Isn't it strange how 2 hours seem so long when
you're at Temple, and how
short they seem when you're
watching a good movie?

Isn't it strange that you can't
find a word to say when
you're praying,
but you have no trouble
thinking what to talk about
with a friend?


Isn't it strange how difficult
and boring it is to read
one chapter
of the Bhagwad Gita, but how easy
it is to read 100 pages of
a popular novel ?


Isn't it strange how everyone
wants front-row-tickets
to concerts or
games, but they do whatever
is possible to sit at the last
row in Jagran?


Isn't it strange how we need to
know about an event for
Temple2-3
weeks before the day so we can
include it in our agenda, but we can
adjust it for other events in
the last minute?


Isn't it strange how difficult it
is to learn a fact about God to share it
with others, but how easy
it is to learn, understand,
extend and repeat gossip?



Isn't it strange how we
believe everything
that magazines and newspapers
say, but we question the words in the
Bhagwad Gita?


Isn't it strange how everyone
wants a place in
heaven, but they don't want
to believe, do, or say anything
to get there?

Isn't it strange how we send
jokes in e-mails
and they are forwarded
right away,
but when we are going to send
messages about God, we think
about it twice before we share
it with others?

IT'S STRANGE ISN'T IT?

A Million Dollar Lesson

A cab driver taught me a million dollar lesson in customer satisfaction and expectation. Motivational speakers charge thousands of dollars to impart his kind of training to corporate executives and staff. It cost me a $12 taxi ride. I had flown into Dallas for the sole purpose of calling on a client. Time was of the essence and my plan included a quick turnaround trip from and back to the airport. A spotless cab pulled up.

The driver rushed to open the passenger door for me and made sure I was comfortably seated before he closed the door. As he got in the driver's seat, he mentioned that the neatly folded Wall Street Journal next to me for my use. He then showed me several tapes and asked me what type of music I would enjoy.

Well! I looked around for a "Candid Camera!" Wouldn't you? I could not believe the service I was receiving! I took the opportunity to say, "Obviously you take great pride in your work. You must have a story to tell." "You bet," he replied, "I used to be in Corporate America. But I got tired of thinking my best would never be good enough. I decided to find my niche in life where I could feel proud of being the best I could be.

I knew I would never be a rocket scientist, but I love driving cars, being of service and feeling like I have done a full day's work and done it well. I evaluate my personal assets and... wham! I became a cab driver.


One thing I know for sure, to be good in my business I could simply just meet the expectations of my passengers. But, to be GREAT in my business, I have to EXCEED the customer's expectations! I like both the sound and the return of being 'great' better than just getting by on 'average'"

written by: Petey Parker

Friday, June 6, 2008

Marvellous answer

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when hespotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side,waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.
The mechanic shouted across the garage,"Hello Doctor!! Please come over here fora minute."
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and askedargumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out,grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. Sohow come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the samework? "
The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.....
He said: "Try to do it when the engine is running".

Prison Life

A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing one of the prisoners.

"Do you watch much television here?"

"Only the daytime shows," the inmate said. "At night we're locked in ourcells and don't see any television."

"That's too bad," the reporter said, "But I do think it is nice that thewarden lets you watch it in the daytime."

"What do you mean, nice?" the inmate said. "That's part of the punishment."

Believe it or not silly answer were collected from GCSE exam ...... ...!!!!!

Q: What causes the tides
A: The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon all water tends to flow 2wards the moon bcuz ther is no water on the moon and the nature abhors a vaccum i forget where the sun joins in thia fight

Q: What happens to a boy when he reach puperty
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks 4ward 2 his adultery

Q: How is dew formed
A: The sun shines on the leaves and make them perspire

Q: Explain an process by which water can b made safe to drink
A: Filteration makes water safe to drink bcuz it removes large pollutants like grit sand DEAD SHEEP and CANOEISTS

Q: What is a planet
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky

Q: What are steroids
A: Things 4 keeping the carpet still on the stairs

Q: How can u delay milk turning sour
A: Keep it in a cow

Q: Give an example of fungus wat is there chacteristic feature
A: Mushrooms ! they grow in damp places so they look like umbrellas

Q: What is a thermalk illness
A: When u r sick at an airport

Q: What is an turbine
A: Something an arab wears


Q: Name the 4 seasons
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

8 Tips For Losing Weight and Keeping It Off

1. Never crash diet to lose weight

When you lose weight rapidly your body is typically only losing glycogen (carbohydrate) and water weight, not fat. Your body thinks that it's starving and reduces its metabolic rate, which makes it harder for your body to burn each calorie (they burn at a slower pace than they normally would). Then when you start eating normally again, your body stores as much food as it can into your fat cells in case of another "famine."

2. Best weight loss plan: substitute foods instead of eliminating them

Although many people feel that "diet" or "reduced fat" foods are not as good as the original, it can be a big help to buy less fatty snack foods. Try out different reduced fat brands and items and who knows, you may find something that you like even better than the original. The key is making sustainable changes - if you can't live without tortilla chips, trying to eliminate them entirely from your diet won't work. Making the change to a lower-calorie reduced fat tortilla chip can make a noticeable change in total calories consumed over time.

3. What drinks for losing weight

Cutting soda out of your diet completely can save the average person 360 calories or more each day. Even diet soda, fruit juices, and whole milk can add unnecessary calories to your daily intake. Instead, drink lots of water and switch from whole to skim or even soy milk; the little things can make a big difference.

4. Weight loss = healthy diet and moving around

Getting up, moving around, and exercising will reduce the amount of food that you will need to cut back on. There are obviously many opportunities to be athletic and active (i.e. sports teams, the gym, going for a jog, etc.) if that interests you, but these aren't the only ways to increase your activity level. You can walk to school, bike to work, walk up and down the stairs a few times before you take a shower, take an extra lap or two around the grocery store.
The American College of Sports Medicine recommends 30-45 minutes of moderate aerobic performed 3-5 times per week in their Guidelines for Healthy Aerobic Activity, but if all you can do is walk around the block twice before you go to bed, that's a good start. Anything is better than nothing, and it's harder to be eating while you're moving around, so it may result in you eating slightly less as well as burning more calories.
The best thing about aerobic exercise is that the benefits are cumulative - you essentially gain the same health benefits from taking three ten-minute walks throughout the day as you do from taking one 30 minute walk. With this in mind, it can be much easier to break your activity goal into manageable pieces that will fit into your day.

5. Gradual changes are best for losing weight

Gradually ease into your diet if possible. Many diet programs allow you to do this. Remember that small changes are easier to stick with than drastic ones. Start by always leaving a little extra on your plate, or drinking water instead of soda. Smaller changes are also more likely to remain with you when the duration of your diet is complete. Aim for behavior-change goals that you know you will be able to maintain over years, not just weeks.

6. Don't overeat

If you're full, or even simply satisfied, stop eating. There's no need to eat until your stomach feels like it's going to explode. Also, keep in mind that it takes a while for the nutrients in your food to enter your bloodstream, and circulate to the nerve centers in your brain that regulate appetite. Eating slowly is helpful in this regard--you give your body a chance to recognize that you've had enough to eat.

7. Try not to banish certain foods when dieting

Don't tell yourself that you can NEVER have something again because you will immediately crave it. People need to eat fats to be healthy as well, just make sure that you're eating them in moderation, and maybe try to balance out a fatty food you ate earlier in the day by choosing celery sticks over chips for your snack. Try to get yourself to think, "I know I CAN have it, but should I have it?"

8. Successful weight loss: be in it for the long term

Crash diets and unsustainable exercise routines will not keep you at your desired weight for the long term. You need to focus on realistic, acheivable goals - behavior modification that you can live with for years, instead of just weeks. For an example, let's say that a hypothetical person is ten pounds overweight, but at perfect energy balance - they eat exactly as many calories as they burn every day, so their weight remains constant. If that person sacrifices one small snack that they have every day, let's say a handful of chips equaling 100 calories, over the course of a year that person will lose over ten pounds! A pound of fat on your body represents 3500 stored calories. 100 calories X 365 days in a year = 36,500 calories, or over ten pounds of fat. Small changes can make a big difference in your health.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Petrol Fever - A Real Eye Opener

Dear Friends, Following is the article from well known Newspaper.
Find the detail break-up of the Final price of petrol available in pumps.

This is a break up considering crude oil at 130 $ per barrel. Following details are for per liter petrol in Rs.

Basic Price = Rs 21.93
Excise duty = Rs 14.35
Education Tax = Rs 0.43
Dealer commission = Rs 1.05
VAT = Rs 5.5
Crude Oil Custom duty = Rs 1.1
Petrol Custom = Rs 1.54
Transportation Charge = Rs 6.00
Total price = Rs 51.90


So for a Rs 22 liter petrol at pumps we people pay Rs 28 tax extra.

Govt. is thinking to impose more price hike to curtain with the current crude oil bubble in International oil crisis.

If Central Govt. wish, it can still reduce the price of petrol in the current crisis situation, but it doesn't intend to do so, instead trying to fool the people and Nation. This is the basis LEFT parties are opposing, just generating more profits for the oil marketing companies.

A New Revised Exam pattern in India

1. General students - Answer ALL questions.
2. OBC - WRITE ANY one question.3.
SC - ONLY READ questions.
4. ST - THANKS FOR COMING.. AND.
5. Gujjars/Jats - THANKS FOR ALLOWING OTHERS TO ATTEND THE EXAMINATION .. !! CHEERS TO RESERVATION......

Let Your Yes Be Yes

In one of his first attempts to run for political office, Lincoln wasgiven $200 by the Whig Party to cover his election expenses.

He won the election and then promptly returned all the money he had not spenton the election, $199.25.

He explained that he had traveled on his own horse and stayed at the homes of his friends. He said, "My only outlaywas 75 cents for a barrel of cider which some farm hands insisted that I treat them to." Lincoln illustrated Jesus' teachings in the Sermon on the Mount when He said, "Let your yes be yes and your no, no."

Monday, June 2, 2008

What an end...!!!!!

In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake.

The hot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, "Gosh... if I go down three inches ... I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed."

There was a fish in the water thinking, "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches, I can eat him."

There was a bear on the shore thinking, "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches .that fish will jump for the fly...and I will grab him."

It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwich.... "Gosh," he thought, "if that fly goes down three inches...and that fish leaps for it...that bear will expose himself and grab for the fish. I'll shoot the bear and have a proper lunch."

You probably think this is enough activity on one bank of a lake, but I can tell you there's more....

A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking, "Gosh ... if that fly goes down three inches...and that fish jumps for that fly ... and that bear grabs for that fish ... the dumb hunter will shoot the bear and drop his cheese sandwich."

A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought, as was fashionable to do on the banks of this particular lake around lunch time ~"Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches...and that fish jumps for that fly... and that bear grabs for that fish and that hunter shoots that bear...and that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich... then I can have mouse for lunch."

The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he heads down for the cooling mist of the water.

The fish swallows the fly...

The bear grabs the fish...

The hunter shoots the bear...

The mouse grabs the cheese sandwich...

The cat jumps for the mouse...

The mouse ducks...

The cat falls into the water and drowns.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS:

Whenever a fly goes down three inches ....

Some pussy is in serious danger. !!!!!!!.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

The Grate Indian Lion..

In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered notmore than 1 kg meat a day.

One day the lion thought its prayers were answered when a US ZooManager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to a US zoo.The lion was pleased and started thinking of acentral A/C environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card.

On it's first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely, for breakfast. It opened the bag quickly but wass hocked to see that it contained only a few bananas.

Controlling its anger, the lion thought that may be they cared toomuch for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India. The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.

Now the lion was furious. It stopped the delivery boy and blasted him,"Don't you know, I am the lion...King of the Jungle....What' swrong with your management? What nonsense is this? Why are you delivering bananas to me ?"

The delivery boy politely said, "Sir, I know you are the King of the Jungle but....do you know that you have been brought here on amonkey's visa!!!

Moral : Better to be a Lion in India than a Monkey elsewhere .....

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Pani puri funds Infosys dreams

Visakhapatnam, May 24:

The wife of a poor pani puri vendor has become a software engineer inInfosys, thanks to her husband's support. Sheik Salar, 26, a street hawker ,usedevery rupee he earned to help his wife Fatima Bibi Sheik, 21, achieve her academic ambitions.

And it was not in vain. Fatima completed her course at Gayatri Vidya Parishad College of Engineering with high marks and was given a plum posting by the software giant in a campus selection.

In fact, she is the first student from the college to get into Infosys.Fatima and Salar stay in a slum at Rajendranagar . While Fatima went to college, Salar roamed around the city with a pushcart selling puffed rice, corn, chilli bhajjis and pani puri, earning Rs 150 per day. When she was married off to her distant relation Salar by her parents in 2001, Fatima was just 15 and felt that she would never achieve her dream of being a software engineer.

"I did not want to marry since I wanted to study further and achieve something , she said. She was crest fallen since Salar merely nodded when she told him about her dreams. But his nod meant a lot and he started saving money to help her study. By living frugally, Salar somehow got together Rs 60,000 to pay Fatima's fee for the first and second year of her engineering course.The Andhra Pradesh State Minorities Finance Corporation helped the couple pay the rest of the fee.

"At the time of our marriage I was not sure how serious Fatima was about her studies," said Salar. "But when I realised that she got 536 marks in her SSC exams and stood first in her school, I decided to helpher study." The pani puri vendor was adamant that her future should not get spoilt because she married him.

A junior college in the city provided her free intermediate education. She secured a decent rank in the Eamcet exam and opted to join the electronicsand electrical engineering branch in college. "We decided not to have kids tillshe got a good job," said Salar. "For this, I took much criticism from my parents." Fatima's eyes moisten when she talks about her husband. "You can'timagine the hardships he suffered to help me," she said. "In the last sixyears, he was my strength. He sacrificed all his joys for me.""Fatima was always first in our class," said Asha Kanthi, her classmate. "Wedid not know her story then. Now she is our inspiration." Though happy at the turn of events, the couple is a bit sad when thinking about their being apart for three months, when Fatima would go to the Infosys campus in Mysore for training. Have they ever quarrelled?

"When we have issues , we sit togetherand discuss and sort it out," said Fatima. She plans to take her husband along with her when she gets her posting. Salar too is proud, for he has proved that behind every successful woman there is a man.My best wishes go with this couple.

The Gossip

A woman repeated a bit of gossip about a neighbor. Within a few days the whole community knew the story.
The person it concerned was deeply hurt and offended.

Later the woman responsible for spreading the rumor learned that it was completely untrue.
She was very sorry and went to a wise old sage to find out what she could do to repair the damage."Go to the marketplace," he said, "and purchase a chicken, and have it killed. Then on your way home, pluck its feathers and drop them one by one along the road."

Although surprised by this advice, the woman did what she was told.
The next day the wise man said, "Now go and collect all those feathers you dropped yesterday and bring them back to me."

The woman followed the same road, but to her dismay, the wind had blown the feathers all away. After searching for hours, she returned with only three in her hand.

"You see," said the old sage, "it's easy to drop them, but it's impossible to get them back.
So it is with gossip. It doesn't take much to spread a rumor, but once you do, you can never completely undo the wrong."

Monday, May 19, 2008

Sex Facts

MEN
1) 94% of men lie about their dick size.According to condom manufacturers, only 6% ofmen need to use extra large condoms.

2) The average man is 5 inches long when erect(no matter what you have heard ladies, that's thetruth). (incidentally the average vaginal capacity isonly 6 inches, for you women who think you can handleking dong)

3) 80% of American men are circumcised. Eventhough Paediatrics say it is not necessary.

4) No matter what all the ads say, nothing canmake your penis grow but time (most men reachthe end of their growth by the early 20's)

5) There is no correlation between penis size andshoe size, hand size, or nose size.

6) Blue balls does exist! It's technicallycalled "prostatic congestion."

7) Only 16% of men shave their privates.

Women

1) Only 9% of women around the globe considerthemselves "attractive" (20% of British womendo). 43% of women use the term "natural", 24% saythey have "average" looks, 8% prefer theterm "feminine", 7% say they are "good looking",and 7% say they are "cute", and finally only 2% ofwomen say they are "sexy".

2) An estimated 85% of women wear the wrongsize bra.

3) 60% of women have had breast implants.

4) 75% of women like giving/getting oral sex.

5) 95% of women shave their privates.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

The First... ( INDIAN )

Actress of the TalkiesZubeida,
Alam Ara(1931)

Actress to win Padma Shri Award
Nargis Dutt(1958)

Architect Maha Govinda(5th C.BC)

Aryabhatta Medal WinnerK.R. Ramanathan(1977)

Bharat Ratna Award WinnerC.Rajgopalachari(1954)

British Governor General of Indian UnionLord Louis Mountbatten(Aug. 15, 1947-June 20, 1948)

Captain of Test Cricket C.K.Nayudu(1932)

Century in Test CricketLala Amarnath(1933-1934)

Chairman of Rajaya SabhaS.V.Krishnamoorthy(1952)

Chevalier Award WinnerSivaji GanesanChief Election CommissionerSukumar Sen(1950-1958)

Chief Justice of IndiaHiralal J.Kania(1950-1951)

Chief of Air StaffSir Thomas Elmhirst(1947-1950)

Chief of Army Staff to die in harnessB.C.Joshi(1994)

Chief of Coast GuardV.A.Kamath(1978-1980)

Chief of Naval StaffR.D.Katari(1958-1962)

Commander-in-ChiefK.M.Cariappa(1949-1953)

CosmonautRakesh Sharma(1984)

Cricketer to have battled in all positions(1 to 11)

Vinoo MankadDada Saheb Phalke Award WinnerDevika Rani Roerich(1969)

Dancer to perform abroadUday ShankarDeputy Prime MinisterVallabhbhai Patel(1947-1950)

Deputy Prime Minister to die in harnessVallabhbhai Patel(1950)

Elected PresidentS.Radhakrishnan(1962-1967)

Emperor of Mughal DynastyBabar(1526-1530)

Field MarshalS.H.F.J.Manekshaw(1973)

Film Star Chief MinisterM.G.Ramachandran(Tamil Nadu, 1977)

Financial Minister to present the Budget three times in a rowManmohan Singh (1933, 1994, 1995)

Finix Award WinnerSr.P.C.SorcarGeometerBaudhayana, Sulva Sutras(800 BC)

Governor General of British IndiaWarren Hastings(1774-1785)

GrammarianPanini, Ashtadhyaayi(6th C. BC)

Helms Award WinnerKunwar Digvijay Singh Babu(1952)

Home MinisterVallabhbhai Patel(1946)

ICS OfficerSatyendranath TagoreIndian Chief of Air StaffS.Mukherjee(1954-1960)

Indian Governor General of Indian UnionM.Rajendra Singh(April 1, 1955-May 14, 1955)

Indian Woman President of Indian National CongressSarojini Naidu(1925)

J.C.Bose Medal WinnerV.Ramalingaswami(1977)

Jain TithankaraRishabha DevJananpith Award WinnerG.Sankara Kurup, Odakuzhal(1965)

Lady of the Indian FilmDevika Rani RoerichLata Mangeshkar Award WinnerNaushad(1984)LawgiverManu, Manu Smirti(3100 BC)

Man to climb Mount Everest without oxygenPhu Dorjee(1984)

Man to climb Mount EverestTanzing Norgay(with Edumund Hillary, 1953)

Man to make solo Flight(from US to India)Satish Soman(1994)

Man to swim across English Channel Mihir Sen(1966)

Man to swim several Straits in one calender yearMihir Sen(1966)

Managing Director of World BankGautam Kaji(1995)

Member of British ParliamentDadabhai Naoroji(1862)

Member of Viceroy's Executive CouncilSir S.P.Sinha(1909)

Miss UniverseSushmita Sen(1994)

Miss WorldReita Faria(1966)

Musician to get Padma Bhushan and Padma VibhushanaM.S.Subbulakshmi(1954,1975)

Musician to get Ramon Magsaysay AwardM.S.Subbulakshami(1974)

Naval PilotY.N.Singh(1941)

Nishan-Eey-Pakistan Award WinnerMorarji Desai(1991)

Nobel Prize WinnerRabindranath Tagore, Gitanjali(1913)

Olympic Medal WinnerNorman Pritchard, Silver(1900)

Oscar WinnerBhanu AthaiyaPatricideAjatshatru's killing of Bimbisara(494 BC)

Physically handicapped mountaineerBaba Manindra PalPilotJ.R.D.Tata, Tata Airlines(1929)

Presentation of BudgetR.K.Shanmugham Chetty, Finance Minister(1947)

Presentation of General BudgetC.D.Deshmukh, Finance Minister(1952)

PresidentRajendra Prasad(1950-1962)

President of Indian National CongressW.C.Bannerjee(1885)

President of International Court of JusticeNagendra Singh(1970)

President to die in harnessZakir Hussain(1967-1969)

Prime MinisterJawaharlal Nehru(1947-1964)

Prime Minister to be assassinatedIndira Gandhi(1984)

Prime Minister to die in harnessJawaharlal Nerhru(1964)

Prime Minister to head a minority governmentChoudhary Charan Singh(July 28, 1979-Jan,14, 1980)

Prime Minister to resign from officeMorarji Desai(1979)

Prime Minister who did not face ParliamentChaudhary Charan Singh(July 28, 1979-Jan 14, 1980)

Raman Medal WinnerSalim Moinuddin Ahmed Ali(1979)

Raman Magsaysay Award WinnerVinoba Bhave(1958)

Recipient of Stalin Peace PrizeSaifuddin Kitchlew(1954)

Recipient of World Food PrizeM.S.Swaminathan(1987)

S.Ramanujan Medal WinnerS.Chandrashekhar(1962)

S.S.Bhatnagar Medal WinnerAtma Ram(1959)

ScientistUddalaka Aruni(560 BC)Slave Ruler of IndiaQutb-ud-din Aibak(1206-1210)

Speaker in Hindi at the UNAtal Bihari Vajpayee(1977)

Speaker of Lok SabhaGanesh Vasudeo Mavalankar(1952-1957)

Test-tube babyBaby Harsha or Indira(1986)

Vice-PresidentS.Radhakrishnan(1952-1962)

Viceroy of IndiaLord Canning (1858-1862)

Woman (Muslim) Ruler of IndiaRazia Sultana(1236-1240)

Woman AdvocateCornelia Sorabji(1894)

Woman AmbassadorVijayalakshmi Pandit(U.S.S.R., 1947-1949)

Woman at AntarcticaMeher Moos(1976)

Woman Central MinisterRajkumari Amrit Kaur(Health)

Woman Chief Justice(of High Court)

Leila Seth(Himachal Pradesh, 1991)

Woman Chief MinisterSucheta Kriplani(Uttar Pradesh, 1963-1967)

Woman Foreign MinisterLakshmi N. Menon(1957-1966)

Woman Secretary General of Rajya SabhaV.S.Rama Devi(1993)

Woman Governor Sarojini Naidu(Uttar Pradesh, 1963-1967)

Woman IAS OfficerAnna Rajam George(1950)

Woman IPS OfficerKiran Bedi(1974)

Woman Jet CommanderSaudamini DeshmukhWoman Jnanpithpith Award WinnerAshapurna Devi, Prathama Pratishruti(1976)

Woman Judge of Supreme CourtMeera Sahib Fatima Beevi(1989)

Woman Minister of StateVijayalakshmi Pandit(Uttar Pradesh, 1937)

Woman MissionarySanghamitra, daughter of King Ashoka (Sri Lanka, 3rd C.BC)

Woman Pilot (Commercial)Prem Mathur(Deccan Airways, 1951)

Woman Pilot (Indian Airlines)Durga Banerjee(1966-1988)

Woman President of Indian National CongressAnnie Besant(1917)

Woman President of UN General AssemblyVijayalakshmi Pandit(1953)

Woman Prime MinisterIndira Gandhi(1966-1977, 1980-1984)

Woman Sahitya Akademi Award WinnerAmrita Pritam, Sunehre(1956)

Woman to climb Mount EverestBachendri Pal(1984)

Woman to perform a solo FlightHarita Kaur Deol(1944)

Woman to swim across English ChannelArati Saha(1959)

Woman to swim across the Strait of GibraltarArti PradhanWoman to win an Asian GoldKamaljit Sandhu(1970)

Woman to go in SpaceDr.Kalpana Chawla(November 1997)

Friday, May 16, 2008

FAIRY TALE for Managers!

Many years ago in a small Indian village,

A farmer had the misfortune Of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender.

The Moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful Daughter. So he proposed a bargain.

He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal.

So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter.

He told them that he would put a black Pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would Have to pick one pebble from the bag.

1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.


2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.


3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail.


They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As They talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he Picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two Black pebbles and put them into the bag.


He then asked the girl to pick A pebble from the bag.


Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have Done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you Have told her?

Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:


1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag And expose the money-lender as a cheat.

3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order To save her father from his debt and imprisonment.


Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with The hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral And logical thinking.


The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with Traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses.The above logical answers.


What would you recommend to the Girl to do?


Well, here is what she did ....


The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without Looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path Where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.


"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the Bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I Picked."


Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had Picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his Dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into An extremely advantageous one.


MORAL OF THE STORY:

Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't Attempt to think.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

A Pillow & A Blanket

A long time ago, a young, wealthy girl was getting ready for bed. She was sayingher prayers when she heard a muffled crying coming through her window. A littlefrightened, she went over to the window and leaned out. Another girl, who seemedto be about her age and homeless was standing in the alley by the rich girlshouse. Her heart went out to the homeless girl, for it was the dead of winter,and the girl had no blanket, only old newspapers someone had thrown out.The rich girl was suddenly struck with a brilliant idea. She called to the othergirl and said, "You there, come to my front door, please."

The homeless girl was so startled she could only manage to nod.

As quick as her legs could take her, the young girl ran down the hall to hermothers closet, and picked out an old quilt and a beat up pillow. She had towalk slower down to the front door as to not trip over the quilt which washanging down, but she made it eventually. Dropping both the articles, she openedthe door. Standing there was the homeless girl, looking quite scared. The richgirl smiled warmly and handed both articles to the other girl. Her smile grewwider as she watched the true amazement and happiness alight upon the othergirl's face. She went to bed incredibly satisfied.

In mid-morning the next day a knock came to the door. The rich girl flew to thedoor hoping that it was the other little girl there. She opened the large doorand looked outside. It was the other little girl. Her face looked happy, and shesmiled. "I suppose you want these back."

The rich little girl opened her mouth to say that she could keep them whenanother idea popped into her head. "No, I want them back."

The homeless girl's face fell. This was obviously not the answer she had hopedfor. She reluctantly laid down the beat up things, and turned to leave when therich girl yelled, "Wait! Stay right there." She turned in time to see the richgirl running up the stairs and down a long corridor. Deciding whatever the richlittle girl was doing wasn't worth waiting for she started to turn around andwalk away. As her foot hit the first step, she felt someone tap her on theshoulder, turning she saw the rich little girl, thrusting a new blanket andpillow at her. "Have these." she said quietly.

These were her own personal belonging made of silk and down feathers.

As the two grew older they didn't see each other much, but they were never farfrom each other's minds. One day, the Rich girl, who was now a Rich woman got atelephone call from someone. A lawyer, saying that she was requested to see him.When she arrived at the office, he told her what had happened. Forty years ago,when she was nine years old, she had helped a little girl in need. That grewinto a middle-class woman with a husband and two children. She had recently diedand left something for her in her will. "Though," the lawyer said, "it's themost peculiar thing. She left you a pillow and a blanket."

THINGS TO KNOW IN OUR WORLD

(1).The time spent deleting SPAM costs United States businesses $21.6 billion annually.

(2) 60.7 percent of eligible voters participated in the 2004 presidential election, the highest percentage in 36 years. However, more than 78 million did not vote. This means President Bush won re-election by receiving votes from less than 31% of all eligible voters in the United States.

(3) John Quincy Adams, sixth president of the United States, loved to skinny dip in the Potomac River.

(4) La Paz, Bolivia has an average annual temperature below 50 degrees Fahrenheit. However, it has never recorded a zero-degree temperature. Same for Stanley, Falkland Islands and Punta Arenas, Chile.

(5) 41% of Chinese people eat at least once a week at a fast food restaurant. 35% of Americans do.

(6) A Wisconsin forklift operator for a Miller beer distributor was fired when a picture was published in a newspaper showing him drinking a Bud Light.

(7) G-rated family films earn more money than any other rating. Yet only 3% of Hollywood's output is G-rated.

(8) Richard Hatch, winner of the first "Survivor" reality series, has been charged with tax evasion for failing to report his $1,000,000 prize.

(9) The entire fleet of Unicoi County Tennessee's salt trucks was rendered out of commission in one accident. All three trucks were badly damaged when one of them began skidding down a road, causing a chain reaction accident. Officials blamed road conditions.

(10) More people study English in China than speak it in the United States of America (300 million).

(11) Fast food provider Hardee's has recently introduced the Monster Thickburger. It has 1,420 calories and 107 grams of fat.

(12) More than 2,500 left-handed people are killed each year from using products that are made for right-handed people.

(13) For every person on earth, there are an estimated 200 million insects.

(14) There are 2,000,000 millionaires in the United States.

(15) 1.5 million Americans are charged with drunk driving each year.

(16) A Georgia company will mix your loved one's ashes with cement and drop it into the ocean to form an artificial reef.

(17) The Washington Times newspaper is owned by the Rev. Sun Myung Moon.

(18) The busiest shopping hour of the holiday season is between 3:00 PM and 4:00 PM on Christmas Eve.

(19) In 2002, women earned 742,000 bachelor's degrees. Men earned only 550,000 during the same year. The difference is growing so large that many colleges now practice (quietly) affirmative action for male applicants.

(20) Most of the deck chairs on the Queen Mary 2 have had to be replaced because overweight Americans were breaking them.

(21) Actor Bill Murray doesn't have a publicist or an agent.

(22) The day after President George W. Bush was reelected, Canada's main immigration website had 115,000 visitors. Before Bush's re-election, this site averaged about 20,000 visitors each day.

(23) Only 30% of stolen artwork worth more than $1,000,000 each is recovered.

(24) The typical American child receives 70 new toys a year, most of them during the holiday season.

(25) 90% of Canada's 31,000,000 citizens live within 100 miles of the U.S. border.

Monday, May 12, 2008

My mom only had one eye

My mom only had one eye. I hated her... She was such an embarrassment.
She cooked for students and teaches to support the family.
There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed.

How could she do this to me? I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.
The next day at school one of my classmates said, "EEEE, your mom only has one eye!"

I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear.
I confronted her that day and said, " If you're only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die?"

My mom did not respond... I didn't even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings.

I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her. So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study.

Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own.
I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts. Then one day, my Mother came to visit me. She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet her grandchildren.

When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her,
and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited..
I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my children!
" GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!"

And to this, my mother quietly answered, "Oh, I'm so sorry.
I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared out of sight.

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house.
So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion,
I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.

My neighbors said that she died. I did not shed a single tear.
They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.

"My dearest son,

I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to your house and
scared your children.

I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion.
But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you.
I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when
you were growing up.

You see........when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye.
As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with one eye.
So I gave you mine.

I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.
With all my love to you,
Your mother.


Always tell someone that you love them because you never
know what day will be their last, or your own.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

The Power of Giving

It was a really hot summer’s day many years ago. I was on my way to pick up two items at the grocery store. In those days, I was a frequent visitor to the supermarket because there never seemed to be enough money for a whole week’s food-shopping at once.

You see, m y young wife, after a tragic battle with cancer, had died just a few months earlier. There was no insurance -- just many expenses and a mountain of bills. I held a part-time job, which barely generated enough money to feed my two young children.

Things were bad -- really bad.

And so it was that day, with a heavy heart and four dollars in my pocket, I was on my way to the supermarket to purchase a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread. The children were hungry and I had to get them something to eat. As I came to a red traffic light, I noticed on my right a young man, a young woman and a child on the grass next to the road. The blistering noonday sun beat down on them without mercy.

The man held up a cardboard sign which read, "Will Work for Food." The woman stood next to him. She just stared at the cars stopped at the red light. The child, probably about two years old, sat on the grass holding a one-armed doll. I noticed all this in the thirty seconds it took for the traffic light to change to green.

I wanted so desperately to give them a few dollars, but if I did that, there wouldn’t be enough left to buy the milk and bread. Four dollars will only go so far. As the light changed, I took one last glance at the three of them and sped off feeling both guilty (for not helping them) and sad (because I didn’t have enough money to share with them).

As 20I kept driving, I couldn’t get the picture of the three of them out of my mind. The sad, haunting eyes of the young man and his family stayed with me for about a mile. I could take it no longer. I felt their pain and had to do something about it. I turned around and drove back to where I had last seen them.

I pulled up close to them and handed the man two of myfour dollars. There were tears in his eyes as he thanked me. I smiled and drove on to the supermarket. Perhaps both milk and bread would be on sale, I thought. And what if I only got milk alone, or just the bread? Well, it would have to do.

I pulled into the parking lot, still thinking about the whole incident,=2 0yet feeling good about what I had done. As I stepped out of the car, my foot slid on something on the pavement. There by my feet was a twenty-dollar bill. I just couldn’t believe it. I looked all around, picked it up with awe, went into the store and purchased not only bread and milk, but several other items I desperately needed.

I never forgot that incident. It reminded me that theuniverse was strange and mysterious. It confirmed my belief that you could never out give the universe. I gave away two dollars and got twenty in return. On my way back from the supermarket, I drove by the hungry family and shared five additional dollars with them. This incident is only one of many that have 20occurred in my life. It seems that the more we give, the more we get. It is, perhaps, one of those universal laws that say, "If you want to receive, you must first give."

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Tounge Twisters.... ( Have a Try )





1. If you understand, say "understand". If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand".How do I understand that you understand? Understand!

2. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.

4. A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.

5. Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People

6. If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

7. I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.

8. Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"

9. Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.


10. SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES

11. The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.

12. If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors? "When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"

13. We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.

14. Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.

15. A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue

16. If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.

17. Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw

Monday, May 5, 2008

PREOVERB CONNECTION AT SIX

A first grade teacher had twenty-five students in her class and she
presented each child the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up
with the remainder of the proverb.

It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their
insight may surprise you. While reading these keep in mind that these are first
graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is classic!

1. Don't change horses..................until they stop running.

2. Strike while the.........................bug is close.

3. It's always darkest before.........Daylight Saving Time.

4. Never underestimate the power of ....... termites.

5. You can lead a horse to water but....... .. how?

6. Don't bite the hand that ........... looks dirty.

7. No news is............impossible.

8. A miss is as good as a ............. Mr.

9. You can't teach an old dog new ........ math.

10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll ..........stink in the morning.

11. Love all, trust ........... me.

12. The pen is mightier than the ............. pigs.

13. An idle mind is.......................the best way to relax.

14. Where there's smoke there's .............. pollution.

15. Happy the bride who.....................gets all the presents.

16. A penny saved is .........! .........not much.

17. Two's company, three's ................. the Musketeers.

18. Don't put off till tomorrow what .................. you put on to go to
bed.!

19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry....... and you have to
blow your nose.

20. There are none so blind as .......Stevie Wonder.

21. Children should be seen and not ......spanked or grounded.

22. If at first you don't succeed ............... get new batteries.

23. You get out of something only what you .............. see in the picture
on the box.

24. When the blind lead the blind .................... get out of the way.

And the WINNER and last one!

25. Better late than ..............pregnant.

Friday, May 2, 2008

THINGS MAY NOT BE WHAT THEY APPEAR

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family.

The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room.

Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement.

As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem." The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest.

When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field. The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen?

The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused. The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die.

"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied.

"When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it."

"Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."

A psycho Test ---- From American Psychiatrist

A woman , while at the funeral of her own mother, meets a guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was simply ' amazing' , very much of her dream guy, she believed him to be just that! She fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her FIRST sister.
Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?

(Give this some thought before you answer).
SCROLL DOWN ..
......
..
.. .

Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again.

If you answered this correctly , you think like a psychopath .. This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly.

If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for you.

Be sure to share the test!Always be positive.... ..

Sunday, April 27, 2008

The Four Candles

The Four Candles burned slowly.Their ambiance was so soft you could hear them speak...

The first candle said,"I Am Peace, but these days, nobody wants to keep me lit." Then Peace's flame slowly diminished and went out completely.

The second candle said, "I Am Faith, but these days, I am no longer indispensable." Then Faith's flameslowly diminished and went out completely.

Sadly the third candle spoke, "I Am Love and I haven't the strength to stay lit any longer." "People put me asideand don't understand my importance. They even forget to love those who arenearest to them." And waiting no longer, Love went out completely. Suddenly...

A child entered the room and saw the three candles no longerburning. The child began to cry, "Why are you not burning? You are supposed tostay lit until the end.

" Then the Fourth Candle spoke gently to the littleboy, "Don't be afraid, for I Am Hope, and while I still burn, we can re-lightthe other candles." With shining eyes, the child tookthe Candle of Hope and lit the other three candles. Never let the Flame ofHope go out.

With Hope in your life, no matter how bad things may be,Peace, Faith and Love may shine brightly once again.

Friday, April 25, 2008

A BOY'S LOVE

On the last day before Christmas, I hurried to go to the supermarket to buytheremaining of the gift I didn't manage to buy earlier.When I saw all the people there, I started to complain tomyself,"It is goingto take forever here and I still have so many other places to go.Christmas really is getting more and more annoying every year.How I wish I couldjust lie down, go to sleep and only wake up after it..."Nonetheless, I made my way to the toy section, and there I started to curse the prices, wondering if after all kids really pla ywith such expensive toys.While looking in the toy section, I noticed a small boy of about 5 years old,pressing a doll against his chest.

He kept on touching the hair of the doll andlooked so sad. I wondered who was this doll for. Then the little boy turned tothe old woman next to him, "Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?"The old lady replied, "You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.

"Then she asked him to stay here for 5 minutes while she went to look around.She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.Finally, I started to walk toward him and I asked him who did he want to givethis doll to.

"It is the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas.She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."I replied to him that may be Santa Claus will bring it to her, after all, andnot to worry. But he replied to me sadly.

"No, Santa Claus can not bring it to her where she is now. I have to give thedoll to my mother so that she can give it to her when she goes there."His eyes were so sad while saying this."My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mummy will also go to seeGod very soon, so I thought that she could bring the doll with her to give it tomy sister.

"My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said, "I told daddy to tell mummy not to go yet. I asked him to wait until I come back fromthe supermarket."Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then toldme, "I also want mummy to take this photo with her so that she will not forgetme.

"I love my mummy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me but daddy says thatshe has to go to be with my little sister."Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.I quickly reachedfor my wallet and took a few notes and said to the boy, "What if we check edagain, just in case if you have enough money?"

"Ok," he said. "I hope that I have enough."I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it.There was enough for the doll, and even some spare money.The little boy said, "Thank you God for giving me enough money."Then he looked at me and added,"I asked yesterday before I slept for God tomake sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mummy can give it to mysister. He heard me."

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mummy, but Ididn't dare to ask God too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and thewhite rose."

"You know, my mummy loves white rose."A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my trolley. Ifinished my shopping in a totallydifferent state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of mymind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article 2 days ago, which mentioned of adrunk man in a truck who hit a car where there was one young lady and a littlegirl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a criticalstate. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assistingmachine, because the young lady would not be able to get out of the coma.Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaperthat the young lady had passed away.I couldn't stop myself and went to buy abunch of white roses and I went to the mortuary where the body of the youngwoman was exposed for people to see and make last wish before burial.She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rosein her hand withthe photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the placecrying, feeling that my life had been changed forever.

The love that this littleboy had for his mother and his sister is still, to that day, hard to imagine.And in a fraction of a second, a drunk man had taken all this away from him.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

VISUALISE YOUR GOAL

The Catalina Island is twenty-one miles away from the coast of California,and many people have taken the challenge to swim across it. On July 4th 1952,Florence Chadwick stepped into the water off Catalina Island to swim acrossto the California coast. She started well and on course, but later fatigueset in, and the weather became cold. She persisted, but fifteen hours later,numb and cold, she asked to be taken out of the water.
After she recovered, she was told that she had been pulled out only half amile away from the coast. She commented that she could have made it, if thefog had not affected her vision and she would have just seen the land. Shepromised that this would be the only time that she would ever quit.
She went back to her rigorous training. And two months later she swam that same channel. The same thing happened. The fatigue set in, and the fogobscured her view, but this time she swam with faith and vision of the land in her.
mind. She knew that somewhere behind the fog was land. She succeeded andbecame the first woman to swim the Catalina Channel. She even broke the mens record by two hours.

SUCCESS PRINCIPLES

When you set your goal, keep pressing on even when you are tired, physicallyand mentally, and even though there are many challenges ahead. Keep thevision of your goal crystal clear before you and never, never, never… giveup!See the reaching, commit to it, and you will surely see your goal realized.

Charming Indian Actress Madhubala

Charming Indian Actress MadhubalaA story version by her younger Sister.

Last week, the gorgeous Madhubala was immortalised when the Indian government released a stamp in her name.

We spoke to her youngest sister, Madhur Bhushan, who gave us a closer insight into Madhubala's life, her romance with Dilip Kumar, her unhappy marriage to Kishore Kumar, and her illness.

Madhur, whose real name is Zahida, is nine years younger than Madhubala. Out of 10 children, she is one of the four still alive.

Over to Madhur:On Madhubala's entry into films:My father, Ataullah Khan, was working in the Imperial Tobacco Company in Peshawar, Pakistan, when he lost his job and decided to come to Mumbai. Madhubala was seven at that time. Her real name was Mumtaz Begum. We called her Mazliappa, as she was the fifth child.

My father started looking for a job. He also took Madhubala to film studios. She got work in Basant (1942) at the age of nine. The leading lady's name was Mumtaz Shanti, so Madhubala was called Baby Mumtaz, when she was a child actress.

She got her first break in Kirdar Sharma's Neel Kamal. Kirdar's wife was supposed to play the lead role but she passed away. As Madhubala knew the dialogues, she became a heroine at the age of 13. From this film onwards, she was credited as Madhubala. The film did not do well, but her work was appreciated.

Madhubala shot to fame in 1949 with Mahal. She was 16. At that time, no one realized that she was sick, not even my father. Madhubala was a healthy child, and very bubbly.

On Madhubala's illness

Madhubala first vomited blood when she was in Chennai shooting for S S Vassan's Bahut Din Huwe (1954). She was treated, and she resumed shooting. Nobody thought she was sick until she fainted on J K Nanda's sets while shooting with Raj Kapoor on Chalack (1957). The film never got completed. That's when the doctor said that she had a hole in her heart.

She was 24 then.She was advised bed rest for three months, but after a month of rest, Madhubala resumed work. Looking at her, one would not say that she was sick. She herself was not ready to believe that she was sick.

Her last film was Mughal-E-Azam, which released in 1960. People think that she worked after that too, but that's not true. She had completed all her films in the 10 years that it took for Mughal-E-Azam to be made.Some movies released after she was bedridden but she was in no condition to work after Mughal-E-Azam. In fact, in some of the scenes, you will notice that she looks pale and sick.

On her family:

People say that my family knew she was ill but we did not treat her; that we hid this fact from producers to get work. But there was no technology back then to check whether she had a hole in a heart, so how would any of us know? We came to know only in 1957. After three years, she went to London for treatment. But it was too late. Madhubala died after nine years.

Everybody blamed my father. But he was protective about his daughters since his sons had died at the ages of five and six. He was an uneducated man but he was like Madhubala's manager. He took care of her work but never interfered on what films she should take up.

He never allowed Madhubala to attend movie premieres because he felt overexposure would kill her career. He always wanted fans to crave for her.

On her romance with Dilip Kumar

The reason Madhubala broke up with Dilip Kumar was B R Chopra's film Naya Daur. not my father.Madhubala had shot a part of the film when the makers decided to go for an outdoor shoot to Gwalior. The place was known for dacoits, so my father asked them to change the location. They disagreed because they wanted a hilly terrain. So my father asked her to quit the film. He was ready to pay the deficit.Chopra asked Dilip Kumar for help.

Dilipsaab and Madhubala were engaged then. Dilipsaab tried to mediate but Madhubala refused to disobey her father.Chopra's production filed a case against her, which went on for a year. But this did not spoil their relationship.Dilipsaab told her to forget movies and get married to him. She said she would marry him, provided he apologised to her father. He refused, so Madhubala left him. That one 'sorry' could have changed her life. She loved Dilipsaab till the day she died.

On Madhubala's marriage to Kishore Kumar

When Madhubala fell sick and was planning to go to London for treatment, Kishore Kumar proposed marriage.My father wanted her to wait and get a clean chit from the London doctors first. But Madhubala married Kishore Kumar out of stubbornness, and anger towards Dilipsaab. They got married in 1960. She was 27 years old.

Once the doctor gave his verdict -- that she would not live for long -- Kishorebhai brought her a house in Mumbai's Carter Road and dumped her there alone, with a nurse and a driver. He would come once in about four months to see her. He did not take her phone calls. Kishorebhai was madly in love with Madhubala but once she returned from London, he dumped her.

He was not a good husband.Madhubala was very depressed because no one came to meet her. Once upon a time, she was hot property in the industry. But when she was bedridden and dying, not a single person met her. Also, she could no longer dress up. She was in night gowns most of the time. She died at the age of 36.- Madhur

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

A Leader Should Know How to ManageFailure

Former President of India APJ Abdul Kalam : 'A Leader Should Know How to> Manage Failure' India Knowledge@Wharton:

Could you give an example, from your own experience, of how leaders should manage failure?

Kalam: Let me tell you about my experience. In 1973 I became the project director of India's satellite launch vehicle program, commonly called the SLV-3. Our goal was to put India's "Rohini" satellite into orbit by 1980.I was given funds and human resources -- but was told clearly that by 1980 we had to launch the satellite into space. Thousands of people worked together in scientific and technical teams towards that goal. By 1979 -- I think the month was August -- we thought we were ready. As the project director, I went to the control center for the launch. At four minutes before the satellite launch, the computer began to go through the checklist of items that needed to be checked.

One minute later, the computer program put the launch on hold; the display showed that some control components were not in order. My experts -- I had four or five of the mwith me -- told me not to worry; they had done their calculations and there was> enough reserve fuel. So I bypassed the computer, switched to manual mode, and launched the rocket. In the first stage, everything worked fine. In the second stage, a problem developed. Instead of the satellite going into orbit, the whole rocket system plunged into the Bay of Bengal.

It was abig failure. That day, the chairman of the Indian Space Research Organization, Prof. Satish Dhawan, had called a press conference. The launch was at 7:00 am,and the press conference -- where journalists from around the world were present -- was at 7:45 am at ISRO's satellite launch range in Sriharikota [inAndhra Pradesh in southern India]. Prof. Dhawan, the leader of the organization, conducted the press conference himself. He took responsibility for the failure -- he said that the team had worked very hard, but that it needed more technological support. He assured the media that in another year, the team would definitely succeed. Now, I was the project director, and it was my failure, but instead, he took responsibility for the failure as chairman of the organization.

The next year, in July 1980, we tried again to launch the satellite -- and this time we succeeded. The whole nation was jubilant. Again, there was a press conference. Prof. Dhawan called me aside and told me, "You conductthe press conference today." I learned a very important lesson that day. When failure occurred, the> leader of the organization owned that failure. When success came, he gaveit to his team. The best management lesson I have learned did not come to me from reading a book; it came from that experience.